My life in the last couple of years has taken so many turns, twists, ups, downs that I feel a little like a test monkey for NASA, but in the grand scheme of things, it ALL makes me who I am as a person, and of that I am proud.
Thirteen months ago, I began my travels down the path of divorce.....while it is not something I am proud of, it has changed my life and the way I view myself FOREVER. I am a firm believer of the fact that everything in life happens for a reason, and have chosen to embrace that theory and move forward with my life in a way that makes me feel proud, and gives my daughters an example of how to really LIVE, how to love and be loved, and find happiness in our short time here on this earth. I only pray that in the most difficult time of my life, I have still been able to keep my head up and guide my daughters while exhibiting something that at least resembles grace.
The woman I used to look at in the mirror that made me feel sadness and and an overwhelming sensation of being lost, has become someone whom I honestly do not recognize........I have found what it feels like to have lifelong relationships, build confidence in myself, find an absolute love for being outdoors, climb MOUNTAINS (for real), laugh until my face hurts more frequently than ever in my life, smile at perfect strangers knowing how wonderful it feels to feel that from another human being.....I could go on for days.
As most of you know, (mostly because I never stop talking about it) I have found an absolute passion for kickboxing in the last couple of years. This has been the very CORE of my weightloss and changing of my mentality on so many levels. I am not sure that I can completely put into words just how the people (instructors and kickboxers alike) of my kickboxing group have absolutely changed my life. I have built such beautiful friendships with all of them, and can't imagine my life without each and every one. Today, was a special day.....I had the opportunity to test with my fellow kickboxers for my Brown Belt in kickboxing. For those of you who don't know, I absolutely freak out at the word TEST and still find it very difficult to be on display during things that are physically and emotionally difficult for me, and today was a big dose of both!
I go into these situations uneasy, and doubting myself and my abilities EVERY time only to be faced with so much love and support that I feel like I could MOVE mountains. I achieved Brown Belt status today, surrounded by people whom I love cheering and giving unbelievable amounts of support. ( must break for tears....hold please) If I am able to return just a portion of the love and energy that I felt today to the people around me, then I will be so happy!! In all of this, It is tough for me to put into words how much gratitude I have for Chris Lawrence and Ashley Bradley for being so supportive no matter what portion of my journey I am moving through......you make me want to strive for greatness and are such amazing examples of beautiful people (inside and out).
Erika, it has been said many times today, but I'll say it again . . . You are an inspiration. To have been through so much and have the attitude you have is amazing. You are so strong AND full of grace. I feel honored to have climbed mountains with you and shared many of those laughs (as well as sweat and tears) with you. You are beautiful.
ReplyDelete